lost memories

By the end of my Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) a few years ago, my therapist told me that I needed to continue the therapy using different methods because most of my memories are repressed in my body. I lost years of memories in my life, yet I still have them in my body in the form of pain. 

Soon after I"graduated" from my DBT journey, I tried Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy and brainspotting, but both were too painful (physically) for me, so I stopped. 

When I played Beatrice Fini's NoCip at [untitled games event], it reminded me of how the therapy and trauma work. Both during and after the therapy, I was heavily disoriented and felt like I was walking in a dream (or a nightmare), where I started to question my reality, my connection to my memories, and my connection to the spaces. 

This mini zine reflects that feeling through photos and a few words to describe what I felt (and still don't understand). I used photos from LomoChrome Purple film and edited them on EZM (mainly using its blend & displace and invert features) to recreate the feeling of derealisation.  

I used Zine Launcher to make it accessible online. Special thanks to everyone who creates these free and accessible tools!